Thursday, September 11, 2008

Land of Overpriced Shoe Boxes

In the Summer of 2007 I walked into an open house on Chandler, Burbank. It was towards one end of the newly constructed walk/bicycle path, within spitting distance of the high-voltage power lines. The house was 640 sq. ft. From the postage stamp size front yard I stepped into the living room, where the wall and even the ceiling had dark wood paneling, making the space feel even smaller. The normal size fridge was too big for the kitchen, I could only walk past it sideways. The bathroom was small, sparse and ugly. Backyard another postage stamp. The punchline is that the seller wanted over half a million for this ugly claustrophobic shoe box.

This insanity is apparently not over yet. Just look at this listing:

101 W Howard St Pasadena, CA 91103 ( MLS#: C07136762)
Beds: 1
Baths: 1
Sq. Ft.: 670
$/Sq. Ft.: $746
Lot Size: -

The description is a must read:
"Beautiful 2 bedroom 2 full bath home. With cool patio perfect for those family and BBQ gatherings truly a must see. Located in desirable area of Pasadena near downtown, shopping, freeways and schools. This cozy home is great for a small family and or a business executive. Tree lined street! HURRY, HURRY, HURRY THIS HOME WILL NOT LAST!"

"This cozy home is great for a small family..." A family of gnomes, perhaps? "...and or a business executive." A what?!?

There is also a little bit of discrepancy there. Is this a 1 br, 1 bath, or a 2 br, 2 bath? How on earth could you possibly squeeze 2 bedrooms and 2 full bathrooms into 670 sq. ft?
Like this I guess. Well, who needs to open that closet door, anyway?
The lot size is maesly 3052 according to county records, so it doesn't even have a huge lot going for it.

The seller who bought this house for $114,000 in 1999, and now wants to make a cool 440% profit on it. This begs the question: IS HE OUT OF HIS FRAKKING MIND?

I especially love the the last line of the description, since the property have been sitting on the market for 360 days! You'd think at the one year anniversary they'd change the description and, uh maybe knock the price down a notch, like, oh, 300k or so.

1 comment:

altadenahiker said...

I would really enjoy writing real estate blurbs -- now there's a career opportunity. These guys are laughing as they write it -- tell me they're laughing. And then I like the sale signs that say "I look great on the inside!" 'cause we know the outside looks like crap.